Monday, April 20, 2020

Asking made SiMPL


Asking made SiMPL


Remember your first major gift ask?  Or perhaps you are about to make one and the thought of it is causing you concern.  I remember waiting in the car outside the very grand home where, for the very first time, I was about to ask for a major personal gift.  Until that point, I had been a corporate fundraiser, skilled in crafting proposals and negotiating with company executives.  Here I was, about to enter a person’s home and ask them for quite a considerable amount of their own money.  I managed to stumble through my first attempt at asking.  We got the gift.  But it was more beginner’s luck and the belief the donor had in the organisation than my skill as a fundraiser!

Three decades later I’ve come to enjoy the craft of major gifts.  More importantly, I’ve come to understand how important and rewarding major gifts are both to the donor and to those from whom the gifts they make benefit.  There are two techniques that I recommend, and one important re-frame.  Together they create a model of Asking Made SiMPL.

The Re-frame

First, an elegant and powerful reframe.  As humans we are not wired to “ask”.  In Western culture we have the iconic image of Dickens’ Oliver Twist - his ragged arms stretched out with an empty bowl.  That’s not you!  Your role is to engage with a potential donor who has values and beliefs that are consistent with a case for support you represent.  And you are there to offer them the opportunity to make a difference.  That’s not asking, that’s giving someone something they are looking for.  An opportunity.

The technique of match, pace, lead

Match, pace, lead mirrors the martial arts philosophy of going with the direction of the movement and using the energy of your partner to take them to where both want to be.

In marathon racing, cycling competitions, and even in horse racing, competitors often have a teammate run alongside or even just ahead of them, matching their pace and speed.  From time to time, the teammate picks up the pace a little.  Miraculously, the runner alongside follows, exactly as though their pacemaker’s thoughts have communicated directly to them.  With no observable change in demeanour or effort, the other runner picks up their partner’s pace, until eventually one takes the lead and goes on to win the race.  Sometimes their partner will come in second.

Pacing is also highly effective in sales and negotiations, and similarly highly effective in asking for major gifts.  The key to pacing and leading in gift asking is establishing rapport with your prospect and holding shared values, ideas and beliefs around your organisation’s case for support.  More on that in a moment.


Get in sync with your prospect ahead of time

In major gift asking, matching begins before the ask meeting.  You prepare for the meeting by considering how nearly you can match your prospect's preferences.  Match what the prospect is likely to wear.  If they tend to dress in business clothes, do likewise.  If they tend to dress casually, do the same.

Match the meeting place to the prospect.  You might invite the prospect to suggest the venue (perhaps their home, office, or club).  However, the prospect may prefer to come to your site or some other place where you can show them progress, plans, models etc.
Of course, because you have thoroughly researched and cultivated the prospect, you already have a good sense of their preferences.

Match body language & speech patterns

Have you ever observed people engaged in really passionate conversations; or couples together in a restaurant sharing a candlelit dinner One of the clearest signs that two or more people are in rapport is that they will naturally match one another's body language.
If the prospect is sitting back, relaxed in an easychair, sit back yourself.  If they lean forward to make their points, incline forward yourself.

To maintain engagement, you can match their speech patterns too.  Is the prospect speaking fast or slow?  Soft or loud?  Is their rhythm steady or variable?


The technique of showing (genuine) interest

However, by far the easiest and most enjoyable way to establish rapport with anyone is to show genuine interest in them.  Rapport is a natural by-product of showing interest in what someone has to say. And the great thing about that, and the great thing about being a major gift fundraiser is that you will have wonderful conversations with some extraordinarily interesting people.  Major gift fundraisers get to meet artists, scientists, business and political leaders, and many other fascinating people. As a major gift fundraiser, you will have the privilege of doing so in a context where it is possible to hear their stories and learn from them about matters that mean a lot to them, all by showing your genuine interest.

You will demonstrate your interest to a potential donor by asking open questions – about their experiences, their views, the stories they can tell.  Ask questions relevant to the reasons they are likely to support you.  school fundraisers could ask questions about the prospect's schooldays; international aid fundraisers about experiences of foreign countries; health fundraisers about family medical history, and so on.  Your role is to listen, to observe, to show empathy to the feelings expressed - and to continue asking open questions, allowing the prospect time to speak, to relax and to open up.

Match then pace

Your next step is to gently take more control of the meeting.  You begin to shift the focus of your questions to your case for support.  You will find that if you start matching some of the prospect’s language back to them, particularly relating to their beliefs and values, your rapport with them will grow.  You can say things such as, “So you believe that….?” “You said that…” You agree with us, then, that…?”

Gently take the lead

Now you can begin to use closed questions ("Did you see how successful our program has been?" Or "Did you hear about the changes we are making?").  If, as you ask these types of closed questions, you are able deliberately, elegantly and not abruptly to shift your posture and voice to contrast that of the prospect, you will notice an unconscious shift in their posture and voice too.

As you observe this shift and as you receive positive, affirmative responses to your closed, assumptive questions (e.g. "Do you agree with us that the best way to make a positive difference is ...?"), you are ready to lead to the ask itself.

"Would you consider making a gift of $X toward our goal of ...?"

Now, remain silent

Once you have asked, stay silent.  Your work is done.  Remember that when you do make the ask, to WAIT for the answer for as long as it takes—don’t rush to fill the silence and pre-empt their response; you remain in control of the conversation until its close.

The aim of the meeting is to the person an opportunity to make a gift.  Its success lies in leading the meeting to a close, maintaining the same rapport whether the next step is to accept a gift, negotiate a detail, or continue the relationship with a view to asking again another day.

Congratulations, you have successfully Shown Interest then Match-Pace-Led to the offer of an opportunity to support.  The response and any negotiation should flow comfortably because rapport has been built throughout. Asking has been made SiMPL.