Asking made SiMPL
Remember
your first major gift ask? Or perhaps
you are about to make one and the thought of it is causing you concern. I remember waiting in the car outside the very
grand home where, for the very first time, I was about to ask for a major
personal gift. Until that point, I had
been a corporate fundraiser, skilled in crafting proposals and negotiating with
company executives. Here I was, about to
enter a person’s home and ask them for quite a considerable amount of their own
money. I managed to stumble through my
first attempt at asking. We got the gift. But it was more beginner’s luck and the
belief the donor had in the organisation than my skill as a fundraiser!
Three
decades later I’ve come to enjoy the craft of major gifts. More importantly, I’ve come to understand how
important and rewarding major gifts are both to the donor and to those from
whom the gifts they make benefit. There
are two techniques that I recommend, and one important re-frame. Together they create a model of Asking Made SiMPL.
The
Re-frame
First,
an elegant and powerful reframe. As
humans we are not wired to “ask”. In
Western culture we have the iconic image of Dickens’ Oliver Twist - his ragged
arms stretched out with an empty bowl. That’s
not you! Your role is to engage with a
potential donor who has values and beliefs that are consistent with a case for
support you represent. And you are there
to offer them the opportunity to
make a difference. That’s not asking,
that’s giving someone something they are looking for. An opportunity.
The
technique of match, pace, lead
Match,
pace, lead mirrors the martial arts philosophy of going with the direction of
the movement and using the energy of your partner to take them to where both want
to be.
In
marathon racing, cycling competitions, and even in horse racing, competitors
often have a teammate run alongside or even just ahead of them, matching their
pace and speed. From time to time, the
teammate picks up the pace a little. Miraculously,
the runner alongside follows, exactly as though their pacemaker’s thoughts have
communicated directly to them. With no
observable change in demeanour or effort, the other runner picks up their
partner’s pace, until eventually one takes the lead and goes on to win the race. Sometimes their partner will come in second.
Pacing
is also highly effective in sales and negotiations, and similarly highly
effective in asking for major gifts. The
key to pacing and leading in gift asking is establishing rapport with your prospect and holding shared values, ideas and beliefs around
your organisation’s case for support. More on that in a moment.
Get
in sync with your prospect ahead of time
In
major gift asking, matching begins before the ask meeting. You prepare for the meeting by considering
how nearly you can match your prospect's preferences. Match what the prospect is likely to wear. If they tend to dress in business clothes, do
likewise. If they tend to dress
casually, do the same.
Match
the meeting place to the prospect. You
might invite the prospect to suggest the venue (perhaps their home, office, or
club). However, the prospect may prefer
to come to your site or some other place where you can show them progress,
plans, models etc.
Of
course, because you have thoroughly researched and cultivated the prospect, you
already have a good sense of their preferences.
Match
body language & speech patterns
Have
you ever observed people engaged in really passionate conversations; or couples
together in a restaurant sharing a candlelit dinner One of the clearest signs
that two or more people are in rapport is that they will naturally match one
another's body language.
If
the prospect is sitting back, relaxed in an easychair, sit back yourself. If they lean forward to make their points,
incline forward yourself.
To
maintain engagement, you can match their speech patterns too. Is the prospect speaking fast or slow? Soft or loud?
Is their rhythm steady or variable?
The
technique of showing (genuine) interest
However,
by far the easiest and most enjoyable way to establish rapport with anyone is
to show genuine interest in them. Rapport is a natural by-product of showing
interest in what someone has to say. And the great thing about that, and
the great thing about being a major gift fundraiser is that you will have
wonderful conversations with some extraordinarily interesting people. Major gift fundraisers get to meet artists,
scientists, business and political leaders, and many other fascinating people. As
a major gift fundraiser, you will have the privilege of doing so in a context
where it is possible to hear their stories and learn from them about matters that
mean a lot to them, all by showing your genuine interest.
You
will demonstrate your interest to a potential donor by asking open questions –
about their experiences, their views, the stories they can tell. Ask questions relevant to the reasons they
are likely to support you. school
fundraisers could ask questions about the prospect's schooldays; international
aid fundraisers about experiences of foreign countries; health fundraisers
about family medical history, and so on.
Your role is to listen, to observe, to show empathy to the feelings
expressed - and to continue asking open questions, allowing the prospect time
to speak, to relax and to open up.
Match
then pace
Your
next step is to gently take more control of the meeting. You begin to shift the focus of your questions
to your case for support. You will find
that if you start matching some of the prospect’s language back to them,
particularly relating to their beliefs and values, your rapport with them will
grow. You can say things such as, “So
you believe that….?” “You said that…” You agree with us, then, that…?”
Gently
take the lead
Now
you can begin to use closed questions ("Did you see how successful our
program has been?" Or "Did you hear about the changes we are
making?"). If, as you ask these
types of closed questions, you are able deliberately, elegantly and not
abruptly to shift your posture and voice to contrast that of the prospect, you
will notice an unconscious shift in their posture and voice too.
As
you observe this shift and as you receive positive, affirmative responses to
your closed, assumptive questions (e.g. "Do you agree with us that the
best way to make a positive difference is ...?"), you are ready to lead to
the ask itself.
"Would
you consider making a gift of $X toward our goal of ...?"
Now,
remain silent
Once
you have asked, stay silent. Your work
is done. Remember that when you do make
the ask, to WAIT for the answer for as long as it takes—don’t rush to fill the
silence and pre-empt their response; you remain in control of the conversation
until its close.
The
aim of the meeting is to the person an opportunity to make a gift. Its success lies in leading the meeting to a
close, maintaining the same rapport whether the next step is to accept a gift,
negotiate a detail, or continue the relationship with a view to asking again
another day.
Congratulations,
you have successfully Shown Interest then Match-Pace-Led to the offer of an opportunity to
support. The response and any
negotiation should flow comfortably because rapport has been built throughout. Asking has been made SiMPL.